Mostly, when people commit themselves to something, they aim to do their best. Not me. No, I like to be the best, or at least somewhere near the very top. When I got my Year 12 results, I wanted to repeat a subject because, in the final exam, I didn't get an A+, the result I'd come to expect throughout the course. This is the curse of perfectionism. Therefore, it's quite ironic that in my current studies, I'm reading and writing about how to help students overcome perfectionism and learn to be happy with reasonable expectations and results. After a week of stressing about the possibility of not receiving the highest mark in this current assignment, which in turn has lead to lack of sleep, increased teeth grinding, grumpiness and a tendency to eat and drink poorly, I decided to do something about it. I went to the gym, I had a massage, I took a bath, I cooked healthy dinners. But, most importantly, I allowed myself time to think. I was reminded of this important element of doing something well when I read Sarah Wilson's post entitled 'being great takes time.' I pride myself on allowing students time to think, but hadn't been allowing myself the same luxury necessity. I've simply been too stressed about watching the word count grow and padding out my reference list. In other words, I was just playing the game, and a game is university. I thought back to my reasons for taking this course - to think and to learn, not to get high distinctions. After reminding myself of this important lesson, I've taken the time to think - which for me, is best achieved during long walks, long showers, long browsing periods through research articles on the net. And now, if I do say so myself, I'm coming out with some pretty great thoughts! So, for the moment, all is well in this perfectionist's world ... I'm still aiming to write a bloody good essay and if I get top marks, great. If not, I'll just drown my sorrows in a bottle of Verve.
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